This morning when i was rushing my maths, to go school teach derek,mummy was packing her things, den she came in with my last time de passport picture and she is saying ai yo ah mei, you see so cute . haha(: Thanks ah, but i don't think i look like how i was when i was young. haha .

Then its remind me about something when i was young haha.
its wasn't something that is pleasant.
but what i can say is my parents are really nice to us. its just they have no time.
ok well. its was like why? why am i a normal 'o' level student just in poly year two now is 21 instead of 19? |:
well, i don't usual tell and explain to people why. i only did if they asked. or maybe won't explain even if they ask.
cause i don't like to do so.
people will think that i had retained. but its not the fact. i don't like the feeling when people learned about the age , they will not think much other then just asking me , OH! so you retained two years? that feeling wasn't good at all. i had never retained. NEVER.
i don't usually explain i think even i explain, people might think that its too dramatic too be real. when people say so,i will be looking like i don't mind, but actually its hurts. who will want to be like this leh right?. who will want to waste two years of their life? who will want to be different from the others being the odd one? i wan't given a chance , so wasn't anyone of my family members.
maybe its all fated.
As since young i was always stick to my mummy, so even when i was 5-6 years old going kingdergarten, my mum was always there for me. I will be so terrified if i don't see her, because i only went to the school for once or twice in my memory and the last time i went was just to take the graduation picture. as my parents have no time to bring me to school and my sis and bro are schooling primary school at that time. After that its 7 years old, my primary 1 life is the start of my nightmare. i still remember every single things that happened. The teacher in the school is like devils to me at that time. They don't understand teh fear in a kid that never leave her mum side, they just drag me in the class closed all the windows all the doors , leaving me falling on the ground crying like i was going to die and shouting for my mum , pleading them to let me out. but they ignored me. they just let me crying alone on the ground right in the middle of the class. till hours passed they finally let me out. the moment they opened the door i run out like don't know what. now i noe my mum must be so heartache to see me like that ): After that , my mum was standing outside my class, when i'm in the class, with the door opened and im sitting beside the door. soon after the english class, the chinese teacher came. there come the monster. The 1st lesson of her class scares me totally and from there day on i reject going school, die also don't want to everytime when mummy ask me go school i will cry like there is no tomorrow. She is a very fierce teacher , the 1st lesson she asked us to do the xi zi, den i was happily writting, then 1st day of the school and i am just primary 1 what you expect a primary 1 new student to do? den she just take my book and throw my book away and shouting at me , saying my handwriting are ugly. i remember from that day on i never enter the class ever again.
so i ended nt schooling for a year, the second year , im 8 years old going back to the same school, same class! still in primary 1. Everyone expect the teachers to change , but no, its still the same teachers! chinese or english . omg i was so terrify but mummy wont let me go. but im rli scare. i remember i went to the class for just once for the second time. |: The english teacher recommended mummy to bring to me a psychology. and i went to see the pschology for one whole year , before i re enter a new school at the aged of 9, but being in primary 1. and i start to meet new teachers that are nice, and know friends. but still i'm super quiet. every yr my report book comment will have Baoyi is a very quiet girl , she needs to open her mouth to talk and to ask questions. haha every year till i am in primary 3. when im 11 years old when all my classmates are 9 years old, i met my best friend Terine and Minyi , they changed me to now the me (: <3 hahaa. and from then on my school life was wonderful, even till now.
i really thanks my mummy for everything she does. (:
but its really hurts and the feeling sucks to be the odd one. to being labelled as retained when i'm not ):




nobody want to be the "unique" one if they have the choice to choose.
the "unique" feelings wasn't good at all.
not at all.
something that cannot be changed for life.



i keep them all to myself.
the feelings = ): .